How to Make Friends as an Adult

When we are children, making friends is easy. We see the same people at school every day. For adults, it is often much harder. We are busy with work and family, and sometimes we move to a new city. The good news is that science can help.

Friendship Takes Time

In 2018, Jeffrey Hall, a professor at the University of Kansas, studied how people become friends. He found that you need about 50 hours together to turn someone you know a little into a casual friend. You need about 90 hours to become real friends, and more than 200 hours to become close friends. So be patient!

See the Same People Often

Friendship grows when we see the same people again and again. So try something regular: a sports team, a language class, a choir or a weekly game night. And remember that hours at work count less than free time together: talking, joking and having fun.

People Like You More Than You Think

After a first conversation, many of us worry: "Did they like me?" Scientists call this worry the "liking gap". Studies show that people usually like us more than we think. So don't be afraid to talk to new people.

Be the One Who Invites

Many people wait for others to call them. Don't wait! Invite someone for a coffee or a walk. If they say no, try again another time. Most people are happy to get an invitation.

Making friends as an adult takes time and a little courage. But a good friend is worth every hour.